iPhone-on-a-rope Despite Apple's maniacal culture of secrecy, I've uncovered the most prominent feature being added to the Cupertino company's next-generation iPhone: a big metal chain, one end of which is permanently attached to the gizmo and the other end stapled to the forehead of any Apple engineer who walks into a bar with one.
Yeah, some unlucky Apple worker (or former Apple worker) has apparently lost another top-secret iPhone prototype. But this time it was different. Instead of partying in a Redwood City German beer garden and leaving the phone behind for a mercenary patron to find, this year's scatterbrain reportedly partied in a San Francisco tequila lounge and left the phone for a mercenary patron to find. And this year's lost phone apparently ended up on Craigslist, not Gizmodo.
Hey, people lose things in bars all the time -- their wallets, their keys, their inhibitions and, if they're Apple employees, their jobs.
CNet got on this year's lost iPhone first. According to the website, someone in July left a prototype iPhone (perhaps the iPhone 5 due out in a month or so) at Cava 22, a cozy looking place that features tequila and Mexican food. CNet's story relies on an unnamed source who says the thing might have been sold on Craigslist for 200 bucks. (Hey, secret iPhone buyer:
There's an Apple employee out there who'd be willing to pay twice that for it, easy.)
CNet's deep throat says Apple security troops went nuts when they found out the company's secret was out. They tracked the phone down (Hey, it's got the Find My iPhone App!) to a house in San Francisco and dispatched San Francisco and Apple's own police to the scene. No phone was found.
Which is odd, since Apple stirred a storm of controversy when it was discovered that its phones tracked and stored users' movements.Anybody else find it funny that Apple can build a phone that can find people wherever they go, but that Apple can't find wherever it is?
Apple isn't talking about the missing phone -- even to confirm its existence or lack of existence. And a San Francisco police spokesman says the department "has yet to locate any official report in regards to this matter." So maybe this is one of those Web-fueled tech stories that's too good to be true. Or too bad to be true.
I mean, what is it with iPhones and barrooms? I'm not saying that Apple needs to ban employees from visiting bars. Maybe some sort of designated-driver-for-the-iPhone program would do. Sample HR poster: "If you're going to drink and carry an iPhone prototype, bring a friend (and preferably one who doesn't work for Gizmodo). One more thing: For god sake don't leave it in a freakin' bar! And if you do, don't bother coming in on Monday."
It wouldn't be a huge deal, except this is Apple, a company that is so obsessed with secrecy that it wouldn't give out its address if it didn't have to. Not to mention that losing a top-secret iPhone is becoming an annual event. Last year, an employee left an iPhone 4 prototype at Gourmet Haus Staudt on the Peninsula. Photos of that one ended up on Gizmodo and resulted in criminal prosecutions.
Yep, twice in just over a year. Kind of brings a whole new meaning to Infinite Loop.
The whole affair would be hilarious if it weren't for the human toll: Somewhere there's an Apple employee who's very upset. And somewhere there's a really cool iPhone ringing forlornly for him.