Apple’s press event, scheduled for Wednesday, is likely to include the introduction of the relentlessly rumored Apple Tablet.
We’ve taken a lot of time to track down the rumors, innuendo, and even a few sparse facts about the device since the first whispers of its existence some two and a half years ago.
But now we’re going in a separate direction. Admittedly the five features below are are a little crazy — but their inclusion in the tablet would make it a whole lot more fun. Hey, a gadget journalist can dream, right?
1. Wireless Power Transfer
Power management will undoubtedly be a huge problem with a touch-enabled color screen device (it already is with the iPhone). But what if you never had to worry about charging it up? Imagine this: the tablet comes with a peripheral that looks a lot like an Airport Express. You plug it to an outlet and it pumps wireless electrical pulses that are gobbled up by the power hungry device.
Why it’s a pipe dream: Wireless power is still in its infancy. Researchers have figured out how to wirelessly transmit electricity by converting it into magnetic waves, but with only enough wattage to power a light bulb. That and people already freak out about living underneath power lines.
2. Flexible OLED Screen
What if you could roll up the tablet and put it in the back of your pocket like a magazine or a newspaper? It would certainly make the digital transition from the analog devices it’s poised to replace a lot easier. And it’s real too. A widely viewed YouTube clip shows a a bendable OLED prototype from Sony labs, and there’s an outside chance that a high-end version of the Apple tablet will include OLED technology.
Why it’s a pipe dream: Prohibitive cost and size. The largest OLED device on the market, Sony’s XEL-1, is 11 inches across and costs $2500. That’s 227 bucks per inch AND it’s not even flexible. In fact, there are no flexible OLEDs in commercial use at all.
3. Price: $0.00
Here’s the idea: Apple CEO Steve Jobs reads Wired editor-in-chief Chris Anderson’s book Free and has an epiphany. Jobs decides you can have the tablet for little or no upfront cost provided you sign up for a one- or two-year contract and pay a certain monthly fee for content to be beamed to the device. Just like a cell phone contract, the money you pay during over the course of a contract makes up for the discount you receive on the hardware.
Why it’s a pipe dream: When was the last time Apple offered anything for free? Besides truckloads of reality-distorting hype at its press conferences.
4. Salvation for the Struggling Print Industry
Newspapers have been on the business end of a nasty financial ass-kicking for the last few years. (And don’t make us talk about what’s happened to magazines — please.) A lusty piece of hardware coupled with an innovative, iTunes-based business strategy could make both daily rags and glossies profitable again.
Why it’s a pipe dream: With a rumored $1,000 price tag, we’re betting that even die-hard early adopters won’t be showing up en masse to buy the tablet. Financially, the print industry needs a new mass audience, not a small coterie of dedicated Mac lovers
5. Conan O’Brien’s Next Show
This actually makes sense — just hear me out for a moment. How have you been digesting the current apocalypse sweeping late night television? By painstakingly watching every episode of Leno, Conan, Letterman, Kimmel, and Ferguson? No! Most likely you’ve followed this train wreck via snippets on YouTube and Gawker. Imagine Conan striking a multi-year deal to bring an uncensored version of his show to the tablet. Masturbating Bear and PimpBot 5000 might even get their own spinoffs, in 3-minute, embeddable increments.
Also in this pie-in-the sky universe Conan accepts a gig as executive producer of The Simpsons and makes it funny again.
Why it’s a pipe dream: Even Steve Jobs and Nick Denton combined can’t afford Conan’s eight figure salary. Plus, there’s his hair.
