I just know other outlets will eventually pick up on this and add nonsense and subtract the facts at their own leisure, so I thought it worthwhile to get in early.
A kernel vulnerabilities have been uncovered across a range of Ubuntu releases (
http://www.ubuntu.com/usn/USN-914-1), covering 6.06 LTS to 9.10, also including Kubuntu, Edubuntu, and Xubuntu distros.
Here’s the key facts, with a key phrase highlighted:

Key phrase: “a local attacker” … these exploits cannot be leveraged remotely, meaning the sky isn’t falling it on Linux users.
Updates are available for affected distros.